MiceAge ne mache pas ses mots sur cette réhab' ratée...
it's a mall whirl You knew it was a bad idea when you first heard about it, but it really takes a cruise through the newly reopened small world attraction to understand just how misguided the new changes are. Adding the Disney characters into the ride is something that only the marketing people could love, because it sure doesn't do any favors to the show itself.
The opening day What once was a celebration of the children of the world has now turned into a game of spot the character, which of course is now for sale in plush at the exit in the gift shop. No time to enjoy the various dolls, costumes or scenery, or try to listen to the language the song is being sung in because it just might take you away from spotting Mickey, Donald or Woody.
Particularly jarring for me are the new poorly arranged and orchestrated musical counterpoints shoehorned into the soundtrack, which make absolutely sure you cannot miss the characters by grabbing your ears if not your eyes as you float by.
Where's Cher, Whoopi and Tim? The Salute to America room, which replaced the rain forest section, brings the whole thing to a disastrous conclusion. None of the styles used in this section match anything else in the ride and look like a garish cross between Green Acres the TV show, Little Abner the movie musical and your local Hollywood video rental store. It's right up there with the long shuttered Superstar Limo attraction from DCA, in that it's such a pointless addition that it might actually decrease your IQ as you float through it. It's too bad riders aren't given sticks so they can beat the two piñatas that are trying to pass for Woody and Jesse dolls here as they drift by.
Got your stick ready? Which all these misfires it's hard to focus on the things they got right in this rehab, a tweaked loading system, the refreshed backdrops, a new sound system, a new lighting scheme for the finale room, not to mention a nighttime light show that dances across the façade as the Disneyland Railroad crosses across the front of the action.
What would I have done differently? After all you can't complain without offering some solutions of your own, right? The first thing I would've done is made the character appearances seasonal, popping into the attraction only during the holidays. Instead of the America room I would have replaced it with a room full of children communicating to each other in various ways, including the Internet, exchanging messages of peace and welcome. It would be right way to acknowledge the latest technologies in a dated attraction.
I think it speaks to just how bad this makeover is that someone like myself, who has never been a big fan of this ride, nor of the art direction within it, can get so upset over how poorly this was done. To those that say the kids like it just fine, they should remember they are on this planet to broaden horizons. To those others who don't think it's a big deal just keep in mind that if the suits succeed here, they will find other things to screw up.
While Imagineers crammed the new Characters inside the ride and went crazy with glitter-glue and new paint, Cast Members from Disneyland's Scientific Systems department spent the five week winter rehab working on the software and mechanics that control the loading area. Specifically, more work and software tweaks were installed on the underwater track switch that controls which side of the station boats are sent to at the end of the ride.
The pre-rehab boats... That switch has been causing problems for several years now, since allegedly more advanced software was installed on the 1960's mechanism prior to the 50th. That station track switch is the weak link in a famously high capacity attraction, and over the last holiday season it had been preventing the ride from reaching the people-eating rate of 2,500 riders per hour that it is capable of.
The attraction reopened for the Christmas season with high hopes that problems with the track switch had been solved, but it was still causing jammed boats and backups over the holidays. Those problems have at last hopefully been solved with the latest round of software edits, and while the Park hasn't been busy because of the rainy weather, the early results from this past weekend looked very promising.
...the new boats. With the new and more buoyant boats and slightly deeper flume that was installed last year, the once-constant problem of bottomed out boats has now been banished from the ride. The heavier riders of the 21st century can now load up on all the churros they want without fear of causing stuck boats and embarassing escorts out of the backed up ride. And with the extra attention paid to the station track switch, it looks like it's a small world has re-joined the ranks of the highest capacity E Tickets at the park and can once again pull in over 30,000 riders per day.
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